AN INITIATION WITH AYAHUASCA IN THE PERUVIAN
By C. Michael Smith, Ph.D. (MIKKAL)
The following is a report of my experience with ayahuasca in the Peruvian Amazon. I had come to Iquitos, Peru at the request of the ethno-botanist Alan Shoemaker, to keynote and open the 8th International Conference on Amazonian Shamanism. Alan had recently read my book “Jung and Shamanism in Dialogue” which apparently moved him enough to invite me to do this. My topic was Jungian Psychology and Amazonian Shamanism: A Ritual Structure for Integrating Deep Initiatory Experiences. I did not plan to do ayahuasca myself, just to present my lectures and explore the northern Amazon region by boat. But things began changing from the moment I set foot in Iquitos. To orient you to this I will share a couple of entries from my travel log, before discussing the ayahuasca ceremony itself.
TRAVEL LOG –IQUITOS – DAY 1
I was very tired flying from Lima to Iquitos without much sleep during the night. The flight over the High Andes was spectacular and in some places, reminded me of the snow-capped Swiss Alps. But what knocked my socks off was flying high over the Amazon forest: Thousands of miles of green forest lay everywhere. Suddenly the Amazon River appeared in major form; it was literally in the shape of a large Anaconda – so central to the mythologies and visionary art of the region.
While flying over the Amazonian rain forest, the sense of its unity and massiveness were apparent. As we descended into the airport, many indigenous villages and their central fires came into view, with columns of smoke rising from the vast open space of greenery. Seconds before touching down in the jungle-locked airport, I saw thatch roofed huts everywhere, some of them of immense size.
Stepping off the airplane was a shock, given the cool and cloudy conditions of Lima. I stepped into blazing sun on the tarmac, as humidity heavy, palm leaves dripped with sweat. I grabbed my bags, hailed a rickshaw driver out of dozens, and we headed for a long ride through the city; a bumpy, smoky ride, through some muddy streets, while thousands of rickshaws competed for the space. We were surrounded by all the signs of third world poverty, color, and ethnic variety – on buildings made of freely found rails and poles in the forest.
I finally arrived the heart of the city, got my room a Hotel La Cosana: A beautiful inner city hotel with multiple courtyards inside and a garden. The walls were decorated with signs of tribal life, ayahuasca paintings, riverboat paintings, blowguns and masks of all kinds, as well as displays of amazing giant beetles and butterfly collections. Two green-blue native parakeets jumped on my pants and began nibbling at my shoe laces. We became fast friends but I had to be firm about the laces.
I finally got settled in my room. Took a shower and nap, and then headed outside into the chaos of city life. I had dinner at an amazing restaurant where I was the only guest, and all the waitresses were enamored of this stranger from the other world. It was very bizarre and fun. The entree was a white fish from the Amazon, wrapped in palm leaves, with some potatoes, avocados, and a numbers of salsas. Outstanding cuisine.
After dinner I explored the Plaza, which Europeans call the “centre ville” and was delighted to find after nightfall, hundreds of people gathered around the fountain – families with their children playing, running, shooting up blue light balls from slingshots, as well as lovers and friends. It reminded me of what I’ve experienced around the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and the Rhone River flowing through Lyon, France near the Universities. The difference is that here are indigenous people, very poor, and yet there was so much conviviality and joy – reminding me of what I had experienced in the poorest towns in Mexico, and the thriving spirit of the indigenous from slum villages in South Africa. The people have such soul here. The plaza boasts numerous coffee , ice cream and pastry shops, including Café Amazonas, designed by Gustav Eiffel. I had a Cuscuena beer, made from waters of Machu Picchu in Cusco. The entire time while I was on the plaza, literally hundreds of motorized rickshaws encircled the area. I met quite a few Americans who were there on various ayahuasca excursions; some with the Hummingbird Center and some attending our conference. I ended up sharing the gist of one of my keynote talks; the dialogue that ensued drew a crowd that made the sidewalk impassible.
And all the while, I was getting hit on by street hawkers – young men and old woman – selling their tribal wares. I quickly ran over my limit and got savvy with the newcomers.
In all my travels and working with shamanic centers around the world, I haven’t yet found such a stimulating, richly-mixed environment as Iquitos. Both Iquitos and Machu Picchu are major Meccas – with thousands of Americans questing here each week – a topic I will be addressing in my lectures this week. The street buildings and walls are covered with visionary art -eco art. Wish I had a better camera. This is a Mecca worth documenting in the year 2012. We shall see what tomorrow brings! Have a great day!
TRAVEL LOG –IQUITOS – DAY 2
I will share a little about my first adventure in the Amazon shortly. But let me tell you that I am definitely not in Kansas anymore. I have found several years of world travel as well as being on four continents since the end of this February, to be itself a rather large consciousness-expanding pathway. The deep impressions that the ethos, mythos, food, clothing, and customs of a culture tend to jar you out of “Kansas consciousness”: The familiar world simply dissolves when confronted with entirely different geographies, ancestral histories, languages, customs and what a local society takes as supreme value.
Imagine living in a city where the shamanic-visionary ethos and mythos is more present than the modern commercial ethos, although they do vie with each other for power. In the cafe last night, one of the hawkers was a boy of perhaps ten, who sold me a necklace made artfully of the ayahuasca vine for ten soles (five USD). I go to sleep in my hotel looking at the visionary art on the walls: No, definitely not in Kansas anymore.
Nothing could’ve prepared me for Iquitos. It sits as an interface between the modern and the very ancient, even primeval worlds. It is a “Threshold of Initiation,” in Joseph Campbell’s sense: It smacks senses with its colors, pungent aromas, smoky-racing rickshaws and wriggling, river-based tropical cuisine. The city itself seems part modern -technologically, about 1940-ish, cell phones notwithstanding. Internet is unstable due to location and weather patterns, I believe. Being at the mouth of the northern Amazon, it feels to me a bit like the Mos Eisly Cantina bar in “Star Wars IV”: The last stop before the adventures head into outer space at warp speed. The local shops and markets for the most part are distinctly non-Western selling bric-a-brac of all kinds, and there’s a big bank where you can use an ATM, if you don’t mind waiting in a very long line. But what feels really odd is the way shamanic mysticism is fused with local architecture and civic life. It infiltrates the conversations everywhere. The lines between the sacred and profane are very blurry here. I’ve mentioned the ayahuasca paintings in my room, a public establishment, and one of the restaurants I visited has a special ayahuasca diet (“No sugar, no salt, no oil, and no sex” the menu says. ☺) Today my rickshaw driver navigated the crowded and pungent market of Belen. This place looks like the Lung-Shan district medicine markets in Taipei, Taiwan. I saw vendors, amidst the fish and veggies, selling all kinds of plant medicines, including San Pedro, ayahuasca, snake bones and crocodile skulls. You can really image the mixture of smells. If you want “eye of newt,” I am sure they’ve got it, or a close equivalent. ☺
Everywhere on walls I’ve seen beautiful indigenous mandalas with the ayahuasca vine as the round centerpiece (two large wall tapestries in my hotel and one large mosaic). The cloth-woven ayahuasca mandalas are approximately 3x3ft, some are encircled by serpents. Restaurant tables are painted in ayahuasca visionary themes. There is one exception: A Catholic church in the plaza, which is totally seventeenth-century European in style, inside and out. It sits empty and ignored in its irrelevance to this cultural nexus. Clearly the Spirits of the Forest rule, and the ayahuasca mandala is the central and reigning symbol of the living numen in this region.
Now for the Amazon tour. Belen is fused with Iquitos, but it is a water town of incredible color, population density and thousands of shops in addition to the markets. I hired a rickshaw driver for the tour. Passing through all the shops at New York taxi speed, we headed for the village on the water. Large houses are on stilts along muddy streets, until you reach the Amazon itself, where the houses are designed to float, rising and falling with the water. We rented a rather tippy narrow canoe and hired two young men to give us the initial tour up and down the river of the Belen area. You will see the photos of the houses of this area soon as I get them posted. I tried a dozen times tonight, but it wouldn’t work. It was a very moving moment for me when I put my hands in the waters of the Amazon as we moved along the contours of this primal serpent which nourishes dozens of cultures in the Northern Amazon. The homes I saw were so simple, rickety, unpainted, and reflecting great material poverty. Yet I saw a lot of what appeared to be relaxed and happy people hanging out, women washing their clothes in the Amazon, children sitting at the doorways and giggling shyly as I lifted my camera to photograph them. We stopped by a disco floating on the Amazon, a huge yellow structure radiating musical salsa across the water. As I was taking photos of some women washing clothes, a man made fun of me, dropped his pants and flashed his bare butt at me, swaying it to the rhythm of the salsa. We laughed so hard we nearly flipped the canoe over as it was very tippy already.
More was experienced than I can tell. I am back at the hotel and sending this off to you. I’ll have a cerveza and call it a night. Tu Kuy! ☺
I had not planned on doing planet medicine while in Iquitos. I had come to deliver my keynote lectures at the 8th International Conference on Amazonian Shamanism, and hoped to explore some of the upper Amazon by boat this trip. But from the time I set foot in Iquitos my best-laid plans began shifting. Immediately I was in an altered state, and I felt myself in the presence of the goddess, Ayahuasca. I had light visions of undulating Anacondas and writhing ribbons of green color from day one. Within three days of arriving and by the conference opening, I was already seriously preparing myself for plant medicine, as this brief blog suggests:
The Amazonian shamanism conference got off to a wonderful festive beginning. So lovely the excitement, Bora tribal dancing, presentations by shamans were fascinating and continue today. Tomorrow the Ceremonies begin: We leave this Threshold space and move into universes beyond imagination. Btw: Made friends with Raul Diego Nelson Falch, a vegetalista and neuroscience interface dialogue, and have spent hours talking with him in the nearby Yellow Rose of Texas Cafe, a popular gathering place off the plaza. I will post more as I can–but I am immersing in things for now: Beginning a honey and oatmeal diet. Aho!
The Ayahuasca Ceremony
I had trouble with a parasite I picked up by drinking tap water. As things went, it was only my last day in Iquitos that it was possible for me to experience the ayahuasca ceremony with Raul. Before my flight, I canoed up the Amazon to a beautiful ceremonial shrine (conference host Alan Shoemaker’s) for the ayahuasca ceremony, with Raul Diego Nelson Fauch, his wife and co-facilitator Inger, and five other people. About a half mile inland from docking on the Amazon River was a large thirty foot octagonal gazebo-like structure, surrounded by a meadow with banana palm trees, with two attached rooms. There was a hut for the caretakers and their young children.
We went inside and rolled out our mats around the circumference of this lodge. In the center was a pole with a small altar table. Raul and Inger laid out the small mesa cloth on a little table surrounding this central axis. On the cloth he put for miniature black bulls, four cigar-sized sacred tobacco sticks (Nicontana Rustica, I presume), two little balls which were rattles with the ayahuasca symbol engraved in them. I had acquired an identical pair myself and you can hold them in one hand, each ball vibrating at a different frequency.
Raul also laid out his chakapas (leaf fans), a tall plastic bottle of ayahuasca, several bottles of water, some small cups, and a bottle of oatmeal and honey water. You simply shake the bottle with oatmeal in it before drinking. It is a pleasant and sweet taste. Raul’s version of the pre-ayahuasca diet involves eating oatmeal with honey, and nothing else. Each shaman is like a chef, with their own cuisine recipe for the ayahuasca, but all I had talked to or listened to in Iquitos stressed the importance of plant diets and purgatives. Raul’s tradition comes from years deep in the jungles of Columbia where the maestros do not use purgatives, believing the body has its own purgative capacity and doesn’t need to be unnaturally forced or stressed by purgatives being added to the ayahuasca. He said that it is only around the big cities where the shamans use purgatives, but in the deep jungle this has never been the case. This means minimal possibility of vomiting or diarrhea. In my case, I had an upset stomach and diarrhea and dehydration from several days of battling a parasite, and the oatmeal honey actually took away the nausea. The oatmeal-honey water went down really smooth before the ceremony began.
After carefully laying out his altar, Raul and Inger changed into their ceremonial regalia, white pants and shirts with ayahuasca mandalic symbols on them, and other embroidered patterns. Raul donned a bonnet of blue Macaque feathers.
He then led us into another room, one at a time, and discussed our healing needs and our intent, and instructed us on how to maintain focus. I shared some personal problems I wanted help with, and mentioned I would like a cure for the parasite I had picked up. He smoked me down with tobacco for protection and had me rub it into all my body parts. He told me to just let go of anything I no longer need in the ceremony. He assured each of us that the ceremony would be safe and filled with love, and he and Inger would psychically be attuned and would protect each one of us. He said it was important that we relax and trust. Like all the vegetalistas I had met in Iquitos, he required of us faith: in God, in the ayahuasca ceremony, and in his protocol leadership of the ceremony. Each shaman has a protocol for these ceremonies and follows a strict ritual sequence. They are initiatory rites. Since it was daytime in the jungle, he said he would not sing icaros (songs), because in the daytime he wants the sounds of the jungle to carry us. He would only use his chakapas as rattles to help us focus. The sound of a chakapa is like a large bird flying around you.
Finally he said he was going to conduct an initiation for us in this ceremony; we were going to become our own shamans in the ceremony. When he had finished spending time with each one of us, we sat on our mats. Raul began by asking me to sing a song -I chose a Quechua chant I learned from don Alverto, which I sang slowly like an icaro, with lullaby-like rhythm. Then he went around the circle asking each one of us to offer a song, a prayer, or a blessing for the ceremony. When we finished he measured different dosages of medicine for each of us, according to his intuition and our level of experience with ayahuasca. He is Roman Catholic, which is not uncommon for many South American curanderos, and he performed the ceremony like a sacrament of Holy Communion: He and Inger offered prayers at the altar with folded hands, and then made the sign of the cross.
Following the sign of the cross, one by one we each came up and drank the wine-colored brew from a small cup. I found it was thick and tasted a bit like spicy blood, with a bitter after taste which lasted only a second or two, as it was flushed down with sweet oatmeal-honey water. Very pleasant, unlike most reports of the taste. One by one we partook, then laid down on our backs, with rubber buckets nearby in case we did need to purge naturally. A bathroom toilet was a few feet away. A bottle of oatmeal-honey water by our sides.
As I lay on my back, I listened to the sounds of the wind and of some exotic birds, along with nearby chickens, a rooster, and children playing and giggling -it was very nice music to listen to. I did have a bit of a toothache after cracking a tooth on a nut at the Yellow Rose of Texas. I hoped it wouldn’t become amplified or bother me during the ceremony. After about twenty minutes I became a bit sleepy and my body felt heavy. It was a bright sunny day and very light inside this building, and the light faded as room darkened. The ceiling was multi-layered, cone-shaped and peaked quite high. It slowly began to change shape and appear more fractal. Out of the geometric fractal forms appeared large slow moving copper- colored anacondas, slithering down around the poles of the lodge.
I yawned and as I did a strong wave hit me, I closed my eyes, and wow…it was like being in a neon-lit city at night, perhaps in Tokyo, Japan, or Times Square in New York, on New Year’s Eve: Colorful and bright, dynamic neon lights everywhere. I saw a sexy lady with fire engine red lips and a short black skirt (blush), as if lit up. As I stared at those lips, her mouth opened and became a portal. I yawned again and saw in this portal what seemed to be a fluid clear glass window and on the other side, a variety of beings of light, spirits that were each different colors. Their bodies were translucent in a pastel color; some had funny faces, others had very compassionate faces with big eyes and open mouths. Their bodies were oblong and rectangular in shape, with eyes and mouth (no noses that I recall) in the upper part. I could see through them as if they were a clear gel or plasma. I looked straight into their eyes – they were silently and telepathically saying “hello,” and they were raining down gold photons of light into my chest. Above this row of spirits raining down golden packets of light, there was another group raining loving energy. They felt like angelic beings greeting me with love, and were absolutely focused on my well-being and healing. The sense of peace and compassion brought tears to my eyes -liquid poured out of my eyes at the beauty of it all, and I felt had to keep wiping the wetness away.
Suddenly I realized the first row of spirits was going to work on healing me: Some were working on my abdomen and chest, clearing out negative energies and sending in healing energy. I could feel in my body physically, where they placed their hands or instruments. One spirit came right up to my face with a hypodermic needle (syringe) in his hands. He passed right through the clear membrane and stuck it into the hurting tooth. He withdrew some type of fluid and instantly my toothache pain reduced to zero. He then took the syringe away and sprayed the contents into the surrounded space. The liquid material broke up into glitter-like particles and floated away, as if carried by wind. I felt like Gulliver lying on the ground while all these little people worked on my body with tools.
While they were working on me I would occasionally open my eyes and look at the ceiling, which had become a writhing bundle of copper and anacondas descending and pouring down on the floor and surrounding the room. Keep in mind the Anaconda is the Great Spirit of the Amazon River. Suddenly I felt something happening in my liver. I closed my eyes again and saw the big neon red lips; it opened its mouth and again I saw the spirits working on me. They were on the liver and gallbladder, both of which had been infected by the parasite. They seemed to be sticking in tubes, probing, and then performing some kind of surgery. As I looked in their direction, I saw what appeared as darker spirits; I feared they might be negative energies. The moment the thought crossed my awareness, Raul came over and chanted faintly while whisking his leafy fans. Those fans created a variety of bright pastel colors, like Sirius clouds, along with sparkling magic dust. Those waves of light were so beautiful – it felt like it was Raul’s own beautiful soul presence entering my psyche and surrounding me in love. I feared no more, relaxed and let the spirits work on me.
During this healing process, I asked the spirits to help one of my friends, and they taught me how to find and redirect some helping spirits in her direction. I lifted my arms and opened both hands and pointed like a lightning rod in her direction. Energy flowed across my hands and crossed continents to reach her. It then occurred to me to do some healing on all my primary relationships and send good energy to my children and grandchildren. I could see into them thousands of miles away. I could see exactly where they were having trouble in their lives, what their most difficult challenge in life was, and I saw exactly what they needed to move forward. I hollow-boned to them the most beautiful energy not originated from me, but instead the energy passed through and from my own heart. It flowed like a rainbow spread of bright pastel colors, travelling in hyperspace to North America, to each one of them.
Then another portal opened and I could see an infinity of dimensions, of worlds upon worlds, some inside others, a multiverse of beings of light and intelligence – and along with this came an ontological sense that reality is even much more mysterious and inexhaustible than I had imagined (and I have a rather large vision of it – though this was much larger – reminding me of the astral realms that Sri Yukteswar reported to Paramahansa Yogananda. There was no doubt about it: I knew was in a deathless dimension -and it was exquisite and holy. I felt great excitement and peace – a paradoxical moment.
After perhaps an hour, the spirits had completed their job, and as it turns out, I was completely cured of the parasite -no more vomiting or diarrhea. My energy came back to full force, and then some. (A week later, at the time of this report, I have had no more symptoms). I had never felt better. I got up, thanked Raul, and took a walk in the surrounding jungle.
In the jungle I explored the beauty and soul presence of the immense vegetation. I thanked each tree and flower I encountered for connecting with me and for helping me. Everything was alive and dripping with soul. I saw exquisitely colored tropical birds, and a flower that looked like a red-capped shrimp crawling along the forest floor with its tentacles coming from under the cap. I picked up the little flower, feeling its velvety flesh, and placed it in a safe place off my path so as not to harm it while walking. I could almost feel it breathing.
In the meadow the small children, ages 5-6, were giggling as they ran around kicking a rubber ball. They ran all over but seemed to kick it towards me, and to giggle-play around me, giving me lots of eye contact – which was delightful. I giggled with them each time they came close. Across the meadow were swarms of butterflies with black and iridescent turquoise wings – I had never seen so many. Sparkling in the sun, they flitted around the flowers and played in the breeze. The feeling was one of being in Garden of Paradise. Then my journey continued. I still had some personal issues and questions I wanted help with, and I would pause before different trees, asking them my question. I requested their help and honored their teaching spirits. Each tree would open and show me pictures in its bark as response to each question. I would immediately become filled with insight, and thanked them deeply in return for each lesson. I also mustered the courage to look at one of my biggest flaws, and when I shared it, looking at a massive multi-trunked tree, it showed me many aspects of this flaw in its various surfaces. These images were absolutely beautiful and revelatory. I felt like I was standing beside an ancient, prophetic Sybil. Yet the spirits speaking to me through this tree were multiple. I learned that in fact they didn’t see my “flaw” as a flaw at all, but as something natural and beautiful. They then redirected my attention to the real flaw, the real problem, which was my own inner mental judgment against something within me that was deeply natural and spiritual. They invited me to let go that judgment, and as I let go, it moved out of me and melted right into the tree. Gone it is! I felt that spirits had done a powerful psychological reframe on something that I was silently beating myself up for, and in a manner of seconds (what could have taken months of psychoanalysis to get to the bottom of and perhaps two or years to root out).
While in the jungle, Inger was in the gazebo, but she was present and helping all of us. I felt her loving presence in the jungle. As the ayahuasca wore off, one of the facilitators found me to let me know the boatman had come to pick me up and take me to Belen. I said I wasn’t ready and asked that he wait another hour, which he did. Then I yawned several times, and each one hit me like a wave. I went back into deep visionary states with each yawn. Finally I sent a telepathic message to Inger asking for no more, it was enough. I was had a flight to catch back to the USA. Later I realized it was Ayahuasca herself who was the lady wanting me to stay. So I went back to the lodge and sat on the steps, eyes wide open. I asked some questions about relationships in my life. A mind-screen opened before my eyes, and I saw a close friend in need and sent her love. I looked at some other personal concerns that seemed problematic -but when I looked at them, the solution clarified almost instantly, and the way forward seemed obvious.
Finally I asked the spirits to bring me down, telling them that I had a flight to catch, and I was far too altered to function well enough to get back and deal with the airport check-in process. They agreed. While they went to work on that, I looked into the mind-screen that was opening on the ground. In it I could see into an Aztec structure, with beautiful temple walls painted with Aztec geometric designs, and reflecting Quetzalcoatl -but the images were translucent. Behind them was another mind-screen appearing simultaneously; there were many gods and spirits looking back at me, moving along in single file. They had beautiful faces, ugly faces, and funny faces. I must have said hello to several hundred of them. They were clearly alive, conscious and looking at me.
Then I noticed my altered state was significantly lightening. Raul approached me and knew I was now okay to go back, and said, “I think we’ve kept the boatman waiting long enough.” I reported to him most of what I mentioned here. In addition, I said that I could see that ayahuasca brought in the healing spirits, the holo-tropic forces, but that the chacruna plant brought in the visions (chacruna has DMT in it), so that I could see and participate in what was happening during the healing process. Raul smiled. He seemed very happy for all I reported. We took a moment and expressed great admiration and love for each other. I gave Raul an interview on video tape for a record of my experience, and then we walked together to the boat. He set up camera and took many pictures of me as the boat moved back up towards Belen. Raul and I plan to meet again while I am in Belgium this September.
At the time of writing this report, a week has nearly passed. I have had no more symptoms of the parasite infection. It is gone completely, it seems. I feel more freedom and peace, and more self-acceptance. In my own shamanic ceremonies including the very powerful holotropic type of work I do, called sacred breathwork, many of the kinds of things I experienced with ayahuasca I have also experienced there. But this ceremony was more powerful and focused, things were greatly amplified, and the amount of healing and insight was perhaps several times faster than even this sacred breathwork. Some forms of deep-seated issues I worked with (there were several) might take months of depth psychotherapy; with ayahuasca they were processed and resolved in a few minutes at most. Compared to a sacred breathwork session, I would estimate that perhaps ten times as many problems or issues were addressed -and very much to my satisfaction. Unlike sacred breathwork, there is no support group for me to process these experiences. But I am writing this up, and I have been sharing with friends, one at a time. Compared to other entheogens I have experienced, the healing focus was greater, the number of helping spirits were far greater (or holotropic forces were more easily accessible) and the speed of healing much faster (than peyote-mescaline, psilocybin, LSD). The vividness of the visions exceeded any other entheogen I have used.
Finally, I am still under the influence of ayahuasca. She comes to me in my dreams -my dreams are much more interesting, and spirits abound in them, a week later. A couple of nights ago I had three separate dreams in which a huge beautiful spider wove a web around my body, a web of extraordinary beauty, and it became clear to me it is a kind of protective network.
I am so grateful to Raul and Inger, and to all my teachers present with me that day.